


Maybe one day I'll live in La Jolla

by mymomcallsmemax



Series: S.S. Pseudonyms [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry it took so long, No Beta We Die Like Endermen, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Trans Character, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Whump, can be read as a stand alone but i'd recommend part 1 first, im not even happy with it so send hate if you want it sucks, more parts are to come, screeching our lungs out, this is part two of S.S., uhh this is poorly written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29501091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymomcallsmemax/pseuds/mymomcallsmemax
Summary: Tommy comes out to Wilbur after they wrote an album together! very pog!time doesnt exist, my bad.bahahah my slanted font didnt translate, i think i fixed most of it but i might have missed stuff, once again, my bad
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: S.S. Pseudonyms [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094579
Comments: 32
Kudos: 529





	Maybe one day I'll live in La Jolla

It was raining outside and Tommy was disappointed. He'd been on a streak lately, trying to go on walks every evening just to get himself outside. It was something Wilbur had suggested after he first started helping the man write his album. 

"Why don't you go on a walk, Tommy? Some sunshine could do you good, ya know?"

Tommy had scoffed and shrugged it off at the time, but a few days later he found himself actually doing it. And unsurprisingly, Wilbur had been right. Tommy did feel better. Maybe better wasn't the word for it, maybe it was lighter. Yeah, that sounded right.

Either way, the walks made him feel good and he couldn't tonight. Usually the rain wouldn't be a problem but on top of the water pelting down unforgivingly from the cold, dark sky, the wind was absolutely howling. Tommy didn't want to end up with wind burns, plus he was pretty sure it was the sun that made him feel better anyways. 

So he ended up doing what any normal teenager would do when their plans got spontaneously cancelled and they were home alone, he scrolled through reddit. He was currently on Wilbur's subreddit, just because he found what people had to say about his pseudo-self funny, and most of Wil's subreddit had been flooded with Saline content recently. 

He liked seeing fan art the most. The idea that people had taken a name and a few songs and just completely created a character from the ground up was mind blowing to him. Of course there wasn't a lot of that, most of the fan art revolved around peoples theories. The most common and widely accepted person to fit the mold seemed to be Eret. Niki brought in a close second, and there were even a few who had gone so far as to project this character onto JSchlatt himself. The range didn't surprise Tommy because Wilbur never really talked about him. People would donate to his chats asking and he would always say "there's a pseudonym for a reason." and leave it at that. Of course Tommy was never suspected, and he understood why he wasn't, that didn't mean he didn't like basking in just how much the people enjoyed his talent. 

Tommy scrolled on his phone silently, curled into himself on his bed with the cover pulled to his chin and stopped cold. On his screen was probably the coolest shit he'd ever seen. It was a picture of a person in one of those strawberry dresses with short blond hair and their face whited out with the word "Saline <3" written over it. He absolutely adored that, and if he took a screenshot and made it his lock screen, (he'd never change his home screen, it was him and Tubbo at the beach and that picture made him genuinely happy) then no one had to know.

At some point in his reddit endeavors he'd ended up on a Saline discussion board (he wasn't even sure if he was still on reddit at this point) and he was reading a lot of lengthy opinions about Saline.

𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘣𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘚𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘌𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘪𝘬𝘪 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦? 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦? 𝘖𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴?  
-𝘠𝘦𝘢𝘩, 𝘯𝘰, 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘚𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴? 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘶𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘵. 𝘌𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘪𝘬𝘪 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴, 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴.

They.

𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺.  
-𝘖𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘥! 𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘣𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨?  
\--𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵! 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦!!  
-𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴  
\--𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵!!

They.

𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺, 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴? 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘣𝘷 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘬 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘬𝘪.  
-𝘕𝘰 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘦, 𝘛𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵 👀  
\--𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘨𝘰𝘥? 𝘳 𝘶 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺??  
\---𝘋𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦.

They.

Tommy kept trying to read the discussions but that word stayed stuck in his head. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺. Why? What does this mean? He'd heard of nonbinary people before, his fan base had quite the reach in the LGBT+ community, which was something he'd always been proud of, but he'd never really thought about it before.

Is that what he was? Was he nonbinary? Was that even an option? Maybe he just liked the word they. He was sure that was it. It was just a strange concept and his brain thought it was cool. 

𝘐 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵- fuck this. They. They. 

𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘣𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢- He couldn’t do this anymore. He needed help. He could go to Wilbur, sure, but he didn't want to meddle in the older man's opinion of him. He really looked up to him and if Tommy wasn’t sure he didn’t want Wilbur to have to go through this with him. There was always Eret, they understood this kind of thing pretty well, but he didn’t really know Eret and as silly as it seemed he didn’t want Eret to think Tommy thought of them as the token gay friend. Of course Tubbo was an option, but what if Tommy was just being dramatic? He didn’t want to drag Tubbo down with him. Him? Them? Fuck, he didn’t know anymore.

He decided to take a few days, he deserved that at least. He looked it up, nonbinary, trying to better understand his fascination with the word they. He spoke to a stranger who went by the name Jamie online about it and asked for advice. How had they figured it out? How had they known? How could they be certain?

𝘚𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦. They had replied, ever understanding. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯? Tommy looked at the date staring firmly at him from the bottom corner of his computer screen. 

Two and half weeks. No way had it only been that long. This felt like it had been going on for a lifetime. 

It was at this point that Jamie introduced him to an exercise they called Narration. It was simple, and Tommy found himself quite enjoying it. When he was alone he would narrate his life and the world around him out loud, trying to get a sense for the word. 

“He’s washing the dishes,” he would try, and it would be fine, really it was fine, but it had nothing on “They’re washing the dishes.”

They did this for weeks, and the more they did it, the more the word he seemed to grate at their ears. The more “He opened the door,” became not okay. But they could handle it, they were fine. It wasn’t until after a long day of streaming with Wilbur that they broke down and finally, finally, told someone. 

Earlier in the stream somebody donated asking about Saline and Wilbur had responded with “They aren’t comfortable with people knowing their identity, leave it at that.” And Tommy knew they had to tell Wilbur. That didn’t mean they could tell him now, with thousands of people watching them, so when Wilbur called Tommy “big man” Tommy had to laugh and agree loudly. 

They deflated slightly as time ticked by and it wasn’t until Wilbur hit the three hour mark, Tommy being at four and half, that the older man started to notice and decided just to call the stream off. 

“Chat!” He addressed, “It’s time for me to sing the gremlin child to bed, try not to start fires until we stream again.” and his stream was off. He texted Tommy immediately, they were still on a call and Wilbur had brushed off the boys “He’s not singing me to sleep! I’m not a child, and I don’t have a bedtime!” to text him, End stream please, we need to talk. Wilbur felt bad about wording it in a way he knew would make the kid nervous, but Tommy needed to stop streaming before his fans started noticing something was wrong, he needed to stop streaming so Wilbur could fix it. Make him feel better.

Tommy did a quick, slightly panicked outro of “Boys! I’m in trouble, wish me luck!” and raided Phil. They breathed out and Wilbur heard him clench his teeth. 

“Alright, spill.” Tommy made a noise of recognition.

“Give me a moment to figure out how to,” and Wilbur understood, because Wilbur always understood, so he stayed silent, giving Tommy space.

“Um- oh fuck. This is so weird,” they started. 

“How can I make it less weird?” Wilbur asked, and watched as the VC locked, Tommy’s doing. Huh.

“You can’t really, I just-” they cut themselves off with a chuckle. “I just need to man up.” They slowly started laughing harder, and everytime it almost calmed down, it would hit them tenfold again, and Wilbur’s confusion only grew. “I’m s-” Tommy laughed again. “I’m sorry, you’ll understand if I can ever m-” They fell into their own laughter because wasn’t this just so painfully ironic?

“Man up?” Wilbur asked, trying to clarify what exactly Tommy was laughing at. This just made them laugh harder.

“Fucking man up.” They wheezed out the last word, trying to get control over themself. “I’m sorry, it really isn’t that funny,” their words were contradicted by the laughter that laced them. “It’s quite fucking sad, actually but goddamn I’m hilarious. How are you not always laughing at everything I say ever?” Wilbur wasn’t sure what the hell was happening but hearing Tommy admit something was wrong was somehow different than knowing something was wrong, and he was a new level of stressed now. Tommy finally started taking deep breaths and calming down, thank fucking God. 

“I’m sorry it's just-” their voice was still clouded with laughter, and Wilbur, ever so patient, was starting to get sick of Tommy not being able to finish his goddamn sentences. “Wilbur, what’s your opinion on gay people?” That was not what Wilbur had been expecting. 

“I’ve said bef-”

“Well, of course you’ve said before, everyones said before, but it’s different when it’s someone you know, inn it?” Was Tommy gay? Had one of his friends came out as gay? 

“What? No, of course it isn’t.” He didn’t know what tone of voice to take on, because he still had no fucking clue what was happening. 

“Okay, what about the transgender and non-binary community?” Tommy asked, the laughter seemed to have drained from their voice by now.

“Tommy, what the fuck is going on?” Tommy made a choked sound in response.

“Can you,” they took in a deep breath, reminding themself, Wilbur always understood. “Can you answer my question, please?” 

“Of course I support them, Tommy. They’re people too, just the same as you and me, they just got dealt a rougher hand than us. Now why the fuck are you asking me about this?” In hindsight, Wilbur wasn’t really sure why he was so stressed, but at the time he just wanted to understand what had his little brother sounding so dejected and small. Of course his mind was coming up with theories, but he didn’t want to assume anything, he knew the danger in that. 

“I think I’m nonbinary, Wil.” It was quiet, but definitive, and Wilbur exhaled a sigh of relief. Now this he could deal with.

“Okay,” he started quietly. “Okay, how long have you known?” Wilbur suddenly felt awful at the idea of how many times he had accidentally misgendered Tommy. 

They sucked in a breath, “Um, about two and half months?” It came out more of a question than intended, but it made Wilbur’s miserable feeling grow. 

“Okay,” he didn’t know if he was repeating the word so often to remind himself that he was okay, he didn’t know, or if it was for Tommy, because this was okay, this was normal. “Who all have you told?”

“Just you.” Fuck.

“Just- just me. Fucking hell. You’ve been dealing with this by yourself for two months?” Wilbur wished he could say he was surprised, but this was exactly the kind of thing they would pull. Tommy made a noise of affirmation and Wilbur shuddered. “What, um, what are your pronouns? Do you have a different name?” He needed to know how much he’s been hurting Tommy, how much Tommy had been suffering at the hands of someone who swore to protect them. 

“They/them.” Tommy physically cringed at how helpless they felt. “And um, I think Tommy is okay? I haven’t really tried anything else, but I don’t think I’d be opposed to trying different ones out.” 

Wilbur hurt. Why hadn’t Tommy come to him? What did they mean it’s different when it’s someone you know? Why did they feel so alone? How could he make this better? Wilbur didn’t realize he’d gone silent until Tommy spoke up again.

“Did you mean it, when you said it was okay?” They sounded so scared and Wilbur suddenly wanted to cry. 

“Of course I did. I’m sorry I’m just-” he inhaled slowly. “I’m just trying to understand why you felt like you had to deal with this yourself.” Tommy laughed, and it became apparent they were crying. Wilbur felt tears carve a path down his own face at the thought of Tommy feeling so scared and so alone. God, they weren’t. They weren’t alone, they were never alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. It didn’t even sound like a word anymore and Wilbur spoke again before Tommy could respond. 

“Tommy, you know you aren’t alone, right? You’ve never been alone.” He couldn’t fix the past, but he’d be damned if he let something like this happen again.

**Author's Note:**

> hey i wanna write a 5+1 one shot and its 5 times tommy was an asshole for making a joke out of wilburs (depression) diagnosis and the one time they realized he wasn't and i wanted to know if yall think i should do it in an irl type beat or a foster!au thing?? i'm leaning toward foster!au but i think it could be funny to do irl too. idk lmk ur thoughts.


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